Alex Shapiro

IELTS Expert
IELTS Writing Evaluation

some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime.
As adolescents tend to experience exciting and unusual social activities according to their age, finding ways to
prevent
them from breaking the law and committing the crime has been the subject of discussion among families, psychologists and sociologists. One of the suggestions is to
get
help from prisoners who have been able to earn a decent living after their release. There are
different
arguments for and against it.

Among the benefits that can
be considered
for getting help from prisoners, a couple of them are more significant. The
first
and perhaps the most significant reason, having real experiences from the moment of committing a crime to the time of arrest and final punishment. They can speak well of stressful life and the guilt of a criminal's conscience, and
show
the final picture of a law-breaking script to teens
so
they know the consequences of perpetrating a crime. Another justification to
be taken
into consideration is while adolescents are
often
indifferent to the guidance
given
by older
people
, I imagine that most of them would be
extremely
keen to hear the stories of an ex-offender. The vivid and perhaps shocking nature of these stories is likely to have a powerful impact.

Although listening to the story of modified criminals is helpful in deterring teens from committing the crime, there are several better ways to address this issue
radically
.
Primarily
, parents should act as pioneers to educate children at an early age about social evils and how to avoid them.
Also
, teachers at schools
also
play an
important
role in raising the awareness of students about crime. Moral lessons ought not to
be neglected
in the classroom, and a
positive
education environment should
be promoted
, contributing to crime prevention.

In conclusion
, with regard to the points mentioned above such as actual experiences and consequences of a crime committed by a criminal, I
only
partly
agree
with getting help from ex-prisoners and I believe that a combination of
different
education methods would produce a more desirable result compared to a former prisoner holding a talk.
6
Total Band
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
6
Task Achievement

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