Alex Shapiro
IELTS ExpertIELTS Writing Evaluation
some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group
some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Evaluated by WRTR ORG
This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
ManyThis words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
useThis words can be replaced with:a number of
someDid you mean "activities"?activities
activityThis words can be replaced with:a number of
someDid you mean "whereas"?whereas
where asThis words can be replaced with:a number of
someThis words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
seeThis words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyThis words can be replaced with:tiny
smallA determiner is probably missing here: "are the best".are the best
are bestoverall
growth, as they This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
getThis words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skillsPossible spelling mistake found.environment
enviornmentoverall
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.well-being
well beingThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
makesocially
. It This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :ameliorates
improvesPossible spelling mistake found.theirtheret their
ttheirPossible spelling mistake found.competitive
competetiveFor example
, kids, who This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :consolidatedfused
joinedThis words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
manyThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiencies
skillsDid you mean "losing the"?losing the
loosing theOn the other hand
, few believes that, they This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :benefitialproduct
goodThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistsassistances
helpsPossible spelling mistake found.today'stodayto days
todaysPossible spelling mistake found.valuable
valunrableIn my opinion, balance of both the things is key, outside exposure is
equally
This words can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
importantThis words can be replaced with:therefore
SoDid you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?it'sit is
itsTo conclude
, it is essential to have This words can be replaced with:sufficient
enoughThis words can be replaced with:on the contrary
butThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :neglected
ignored5.5
Total Band
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
5.5
Task Achievement