Alex Shapiro

IELTS Expert
IELTS Writing Evaluation

some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group

some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organized group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own.
Usage of kids free time is always debatable topic,
Many
people believe that they
should
use
free time in
some
activity
center or with
some
groups,
where as
some
believes they
should
learn the art of managing their free time on their
own
. In this essay, I will discuss both the views and give opinion about the same. Nowadays, demand of group activities has increased a lot, we can
see
many
people run
small
business where they are conducting classes of drawing, dancing etc. They
are best
place for kids
overall
growth, as they
get
exposures of
many
people and new
skills
. It provides healthy
enviornment
for their
overall
well being
. Learning from these activities enhance their thinking abilities and
make
them more connected
socially
. It
improves
ttheir
grasping power which will be helpful in facing
competetive
world.
For example
, kids, who
joined
any sports from their younger age learn
many
skills
like winning or
loosing the
game, importance of team work etc. Those lessons will be useful to them on every stage of life.
On the other hand
, few believes that, they
should
learn how to handle their time on their
own
. Numerous times it is not possible to spend time in joint activities due to unavoidable reasons. In that situation if children do not know how to tackle that time, they might throw tantrums or may become cranky. Developing a
good
habit like reading or listening music
helps
them in increasing their concentration. These learnings are essential in
todays
stressful life. We have witness pandemic, where it was necessary to stay at home. Children, who follows such individual activities were less likely to be
valunrable
compare to others.

In my opinion, balance of both the things is key, outside exposure is
equally
important
as self occupancy.
So
its
idle to provide both the opportunities to children.
To conclude
, it is essential to have
enough
joint activities for kids to learn how to be a part of society
but
importance of managing time on your
own
can not be
ignored
.
5.5
Total Band
5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
5.5
Task Achievement

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