
Alex Shapiro
IELTS ExpertIELTS Writing Evaluation
the use of electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people.
The use of Electronic media has a negative effect on personal relationships between people. To what extent do agree or disagree?
Evaluated by WRTR AI
Obviously
, computers, mobile phones and televisions are everything Did you mean "to", "you" or "your"?toyouyour
yoHowever
, a coin has two sides. This words can be replaced with:therefore
SoThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :nowadays
nowThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonedassumedbelievedconsidered
thoughtThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :impacted
affectednegatively
by electronic media. I completely This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agreeThis word is normally spelled with hyphen.time-consuming
time consumingFirstly
, a large majority of electronic devices This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
makemainly
This words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritiespublic authorities
governmentsThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitor
watchThis words can be replaced with:incorect
wrongFor example
, people, especially
young children embrace Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).them, and
them andAs a result
, media surpasses books and newspapers.Secondly
, these devices are crowing factors for disappearing relationships. In addition
, they create virtual life to people, namely
individuals-relations and friends usually
chat and speak online instead
of having assembled, they talk in face to face enjoyably
at home or any restaurant. This provides to plummet real communication Possible spelling mistake found.amongamount
amoungPossible spelling mistake found.dramaticallygrammatically
drammaticallyFurthermore
, children are not paid attention as much time as televisions and phones by their parents. This words can be replaced with:therefore
Sobe addicted
soap operas and unimportant things which on electronic media. In case, children face This words can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot ofUse a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).lfe, and
lfe andThis words can be replaced with:ought to
have toTo conclude
, This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :national authoritiespublic authorities
governmentsbe set
there. Provided that there are continuation of them, it ought to impose penalties in order to decrease mean actions.
6
Total Band
6.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5
Lexical Resource
6
Grammatical Range
6.5
Task Achievement
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