Alex Shapiro
IELTS ExpertIELTS Writing Evaluation
some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others
Some people think parents should supervise their children’s activities closely, while others believe children should have more freedom.Discuss
Evaluated by WRTR ORG
It is debated how much freedom children have. Although believe that the activities of children necessary until they are mature.
Children they are unaware of the world outside the secure environment of the they are not mature to understand the difference between and . of friends, if not guided by parents. obscene / vulgar messages to her male friends to draw their attention. These types of instances can the internet under the surveillance of their parents.
valid reasons to give children the freedom to their choices. their decision. This practice will them learn faster than those who are dependent on their parents for making decisions for them. Actually, learning from one’s mistakes is easier than learning from the knowledge imparted by one’s parents.
To sum up, I believe that until a certain age, children need parental guidance; be to their decisions this practice will them to achieve greater success than when they are dependent on their parents.
This words can be replaced with:frequently
oftenThis words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldThis words can be replaced with:a number of
someThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
peopleThis words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldbe monitored
closely
by parents, others oppose this viewpoint. I, however
, believe that parental supervision is This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
onlyChildren
This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldbe monitored
until they reach a certain age This words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseUse a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).home, and
home andThis words can be replaced with:sufficient
enoughThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :benefitialproduct
goodThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
badConsequently
, they can fall an easy prey to a This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
badThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
companyFurthermore
, the internet has a lot to offer apart from knowledge and information. To exemplify, one of my friend’s daughters misused social media websites to This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :transmit
sendbe avoided
if children This words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
useOn the other hand
, there are This words can be replaced with:a number of
someThis words can be replaced with:manufacturecomposeprepareformproduce
makeFirstly
, after they reach a certain level of maturity, children This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldbe encouraged
to This words can be replaced with:manufacturecomposeprepareformproduce
makeThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
helpThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownTo sum up, I believe that until a certain age, children need parental guidance;
however
, once they are mature, they This words can be replaced with:willshallbe going to
shouldThis words can be replaced with:admissible
allowedThis words can be replaced with:manufacturecomposeprepareformproduce
makeThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possess
ownThis words can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
becauseThis words (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :aidassistsupport
help6
Total Band
5.5
Coherence and Cohesion
5.5
Lexical Resource
6.5
Grammatical Range
6
Task Achievement
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